Week 3 – Dr. T:Anatomy as Emmy:Pain

Me, Sonya, and Dr. Frank Tripani

Emmy and Dr. T

Emmy telling me to move my knee back in Triangle Pose

Me and my roommate Greg

I’m sitting on my ischial tuberosities using my carpals, which are short bones, while my biceps brachii (skeletal muscles) and triceps brachii contract so I can type to you. This is possible because the bone in my hands is firm, while the cartilage is fibrous and flexible. Thankfully my quadriceps femoris, sartorious (also known as the tailor’s muscle), and hamstrings are no longer sore from the hundreds of Utkatasanas I’ve done this week. I’m waiting for my omlette so pretty soon I’ll be using my mandabal. Hopefully it will provide enough calcium and phosphorus to sustain good bone health. I doubt there is much Vitamin E, Omega 3 fatty acids, and selenium to prevent against platelet aggregation and thrombus, which could cause an infarct if the blockage is too large. Granted the eggs have cholesterol, but this is not the main cause of heart attacks, the main cause is blood clots. I’ve just had an epiphany that long bone growth occurs at the epihisys. My inferior vena cava is bringing blood back to my head from my abdomen.

This week has been all about pain and anatomy. Emmy Cleaves (Principal Teacher) taught all the morning classes this week and Dr. Frank Trapani gave most of the afternoon lectures regarding all things anatomy. Bikram was not here this week, so we’ve been able to get to bed by midnight. I was sick most of the week. Sunday night I barely slept. Both my roommate and I were up sneezing and coughing. A few times this week I woke up drenched, sheets soaking wet, and had to cover them with towels. Thankfully it passed on Thursday. I’m grateful to have had Echinacea and oil of oregano. I’m pretty sure the yoga helped too (all those lymphocytes battling antigens in my lymph nodes).

Emmy Cleaves has been practicing yoga with Bikram since 1973. She is (I think) 82 years old, speaks in a demanding, yet gentle and caring, German accent, and is the youngest, most powerful, and vibrant 82-year-old I’ve ever met. Emmy reminds me of an elegant countess who rules with an iron fist. She is the powerhouse of Bikram Yoga and I found her to be a voice of reason. She seemed to be in favor of eating right, getting sleep, going to the doctor if you have a torn ligament, and even seeing a psychologist if necessary. This is a bit of a deviation from what we were hearing last week, which was something along the lines of you don’t need to eat, sleep, or see a doctor because you do yoga. She doesn’t ask much - do the postures right and to the best of your ability. The catch is, when we think we’re doing them right, often we’re not. Emmy doesn’t stand on the podium and teach class. She walks around the room and sneaks up on you then (as she says) pokes her fingers in you to correct your posture. And trust me, you will know it when you’re doing the posture right instead of using old bad habits. I went up on stage to get corrections for my triangle pose. I walked off a few minutes later with a sore butt and achy hip joints. Emmy is a stickler for some postures, namely triangle pose and the sit-ups. I think on average we were in triangle two minutes each side for the first set. Standing head to knee and bow pulling pose seemed to last forever as well. For anyone not too familiar with the Bikram Yoga series, these are some of the most challenging postures to perform. Emmy is also a wealth of knowledge. I’d be surprised if we tapped 1% of what she knows. It was the perfect match to have her teaching while learning anatomy from Dr. T, because there were times his lectures crossed what Emmy was saying in class. Next to my mother and my girlfriend, Emmy might just be the next important and influential woman in my life. I’m sorry to see her leave. Her power, class, charm, and wisdom are unrivaled. I understand her yoga practiced is the same. She got into pigeon pose like she was walking in the park. I heard a story about Emmy in a class once. Emmy went to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor, in a condescending tone, asked if she could touch her toes. Her response to the doctor, “With what?” It wouldn’t surprise me if she touched them with her nose.

As I was saying, Emmy holds the postures for quite awhile. Granted, it’s up to you how long you want to stay in the posture, most of the class keeps trying to gain strength and flexibility. I finally had a breakthrough in Standing Bow Pulling pose thanks to Emmy. We always hear to bring our body down, chest parallel to the floor. I know have a gauge to know if I’m doing it correctly. My hamstrings should hurt (a stretching pain, not a sharp, shooting pain). Often we’re stuck in the posture while Emmy is correcting someone, “No, no, no, you’re doing it all wrong. Aren’t you listening? I said push your hips forward. Listen to the dialogue for God’s sake. Forward I said! Is my accent that bad you can’t understand me when I say forward? There you go, that’s better.” Meanwhile, we’re all holding in the setup for triangle, leg bent at 90 degree angle, arms out to the side parallel, holding, and holding, wishing we could get into the posture. Then Emmy will say, “Get into the posture! What are you waiting for?” LOL This in combination with the posture clinics had my body hurting all over.

We said Backward Bending with Pada-Hastasana and all three parts of Awkward pose this week. After you are done reciting the dialogue, you go up and demonstrate the posture with two other people. Awkward pose has three parts - part 1 you sit down like you’re in a chair with your arms stretched out in front of you; part 2 standing on your toes as high as possible, arms still outstretched; part three a little on your toes, sitting down, knees together and in front, arms…still stretching forward. You can imagine how much this starts to hurt when people forget the dialogue and you are holding the posture. I got very lucky and didn’t have to hold too long when I was up there. We’re all going to have thighs of steel when we leave here. I received good feedback on my dialogue. Interestingly enough, I was told I wasn’t loud enough when I said Backward Bending and Pada-Hastasana. Since I was a kid I had always been told my voice carries and I’m loud. Not the case here. I’m sure it’s because I was nervous. My homework was to be louder, pause where there’s a comma, and enunciate words in bold. I had to say Awkward Pose on the stage with a microphone. For some reason this makes me more nervous than when I’m saying it in a hotel room with no microphone. I was told I did better for Awkward Pose, I was louder, showed a bit more inflection, but I need to look at the bodies more, not the floor, and to continue working on my pauses and enunciation. Next will be Eagle Pose, so when I practice, I practice with enunciation. I memorized a good bit of the dialogue before coming here. It’s different when you have to memorize it in a way where you will say it correctly. When you’re teaching a class, you can’t just say the dialogue, you will bore people to tears. There has to be power and excitement. You have to want to make people try harder and inspire them to push beyond their comfort zone.

We had a few visiting teachers this week. All were good and they kicked our ass. My favorite was John Salvatore. He’s from NYC and is currently living here in Las Vegas because he’s performing as a main character in Jersey Boys. I’ve heard stories about John’s classes and he did not disappoint. It was an intense class, but he made it funny. He is one of the funniest teachers I’ve ever had. He told a great story at the end of class. Bikram does not like the color green for many reasons and asks we not wear green in class. John had bought a pair of bright yellow and blue pinstripe shorts in the East Village that could turn on the lights in a yoga room. He decided to use them as a backup. One day he was going to class in training and someone pointed out he had a hole in his shorts. He went to the backups. In class it was the first time he touched his head to his knee in standing head to knee pose (a great feat!) and Bikram saw it. He started congratulating him and then said, “Oh noooooo. Boss. Why you have to ruin my day by wearing green?” John responded saying he thought they were yellow and blue, he didn’t know, it was a harmless mistake. Bikram responds, “Don’t you know yellow and blue make green?”

Next was Elizabeth Marshall who owns a studio in Lawrence, Kansas. I had Liz for one of my posture clinics and really like her. She encourages people to come out for mentoring after they graduate. She graduated teacher training in 2000. When she went she brought her 2 and 4 year olds with her!!! She has come back to every teacher training, 18 in total, since she’s graduated, to continue her learning process. She is very inspirational and encouraging. I really wanted an easy class Thursday night. I was starting to get tired and feel weak. When Manali said Liz was teaching I got excited. I figured, “Great! She’s going to teach a gentle class. She’s got to know we’re tired and sore. She feels for us.” Wrong. She whooped our ass Kansas style. Holy shit was I mistaken. She was calling everyone out, even teachers. She called me out in my triangle, but I totally appreciated it, because I love corrections. Now I turn my front foot out more and it makes a huge difference. The class was hot and the scene was quite similar to last Thursday where people were leaving to puke or had to be helped out of the room. I struggled and struggled… and struggled. Thankfully I made it through, but I had nothing left by the time the cobra series was over.

I’m learning wishful thinking doesn’t hold much weight here. It might even be a detriment. I was looking forward to a sooth Friday night class. Wrong again. David Buckner from Bikram Yoga Dallas taught what has been the hardest class for me yet. I almost didn’t make it through this one. It took everything I had to stay in the room and I had to come out of a couple postures early. David has a wonderful gift we all hope to have. He can say the dialogue, in its entirety, verbatim. That is truly wonderful, unless you are in a room that would make the devil himself run out of the room to use the sick bin. David not only said each and every word of the dialogue, he said them as slowly and concisely as possible. One thing made the room more unbearable than usual, the floor was hotter than its ever been. I can’t find the words to explain how unnaturally hot the floor got that night. I thought my heart was beating fast in the standing series. I laid down for Savasana (a resting posture) and it sped up because the floor was so damn hot! I spent the rest of class holding on for dear life just reminding myself to breathe and constantly reminding myself I have the strength to continue. The hard and impossible class I thought I had the night before was blown out of the water by David’s class. He told us a very inspiring story about a kid who walked into his class one day who was grossly overweight, had rheumatoid arthritis, and had been in such poor physical health he wasn’t allowed to participate in physical education class. He took his first class and started coming back five, six times a week almost immediately so he could compete in the Texas Regional Asana competition. He participated and did not place, but said he knew he could do better and would try harder. He stuck to his classes and went to visiting teacher posture clinics and seminars. He competed again the next year and got third place. Undeterred, he said he wanted to do better and kept at it every day until the next year he got first place in Texas and went onto the nationals where he came in second. Not satisfied and knowing he had more potential he kept practicing and trying harder and harder. Finally, this year he came in first nationally and second internationally. This person who refused to believe he had physical limitations beyond his control is Joseph Ensinia.

You can see him and others in the last Bishnu Charan Ghosh cup here - http://www.yogacup.com/

Saturday morning class was taught by one of the staff from the UK, Mark. Mark has really good energy. He comes off tough and has a wicked strong practice. He taught a great class. I think his half moon was the longest one we’ve had yet. It seemed like he said the dialogue twice for each side. One of things I liked about his class, other than the good energy, was that he taught to us in a way that reminded us how we should teach after we graduate. And not just as teachers, but also when we’re practicing, and outside of the yoga room. It was really nice to have that perspective.

So it’s time I study more anatomy and dialogue. Dr. T will still be here next week with his wife Sonya. They are a cute couple and they feel like family. I don’t know if it’s because he’s Italian or because they remind me of some of my relatives. Regardless of what anyone says, I love his jokes. They are thinking jokes and what makes them so great is they are clean. He tells most of these jokes to his bible study group. He has known Bikram since 1968 when he met him in Hawaii and has been with him ever since. He has a pretty interesting take on nutrition as well. Some people disagree with what he’s said, but I don’t think he’s too far off. I’d invite the skeptics to watch movies like “King Corn” or “Supersize Me” that show just what goes into our food and see exactly what they are eating. I’m impartial to an organic and healthy diet with little meat though. By the way, Dr. T is not a vegetarian, nor is his wife. They both also encourage everyone to be educated and not to get to a point where they go crazy over what they or their kids eat. I think he has our best interest in mind and wants us to see the other side we often don’t hear about on TV and radio.

It's hard to believe we’re 1/3 of the way there. Week 4 starts tomorrow so I best get cracking. I still haven’t found my camera. It must not have liked the heat and late nights and decided to wander the casino and gamble. Hopefully it’s in good hands. The pictures here are courtesy of friends who let me use their cameras or who took the pictures themselves. Thanks guys!!!

One more thing! Congratulations to everyone who competed in the NYC regionals today! I’m sure you all rocked it! I can’t wait to see it on You Tube!

This weeks quotes:

Sometimes your head is like a bad neighborhood and you have to stay out of there. - John Salvatore

Bend forward so the part of your head where you would wear a tiara is on the floor. Don't ask me how I know that. - John Salvatore

Sometimes you have to fall over to put yourself back together. - Liz Marshall

Yoga practice. Continue patiently, you have a lifetime of yoga ahead of you. - Emmy

You are a sum total of all the metabolic events in your life up to this point, reflected in your physiology. The nervous system is reflected in the physical body. - Emmy

The object is your body, not the posture. Spend more time changing your body to do the posture in the correct way. - Emmy

I feel like a voice in the wilderness every morning in triangle. I tell you push your hips forward and your upper body back. Nothing. - Emmy

Dr. T Jokes

Mr. Goldenblatt bought a new, top of the line hearing aid. He's telling his friend about it and how technologically advanced it is. His friend asks, "What kind is it?" Mr. Goldenblatt responds, "Quarter to twelve."

A married couple sits in the recovery room after the man has had surgery. He wakes up from the anaestheisa and says, "You're beautiful." A moment later his eyes open and close and he says, "You're cute." His wife asks, "What happened to beautiful?" The man replies, "The anaesthesia is wearing off."